Friday, April 19, 2002

Betty X and Sabrina RockArena.

Went over to the effervescent Sabrina RockArena's pad yesterday to film Betty X's interview with her. Sabrina is best know for her bass and vocal stylings for Seattle's own COOKiE, a hard hitting 3 piece rock outfit with a reputed killer pyrotechnic show. Look for the interview on an upcoming Go-Kustom TV Episode.

Oh yea- I had a real vivid dream last night. Mildly disturbing. I was a 40ish black man traveling the deep south. It was during the mid to late sixties, although some peoples clothes and cars were more current- time composited like dreams can be. I had just gotten a job at a diner and was working as a bus boy to make enough money to buy a bus ticket out of what ever town it was I was staying in. It was obviously not my home. The dream was very real and I remember as I was busing the tables, I could feel the white diners patrons staring at me, watching me suspiciously, as though I was a stray dog that had wandered into the diner unwelcomed. I worked hard and tried not to look up or around, not out of fear, but to avoid any problems with the white folks and their meals. I was almost done for the day and went over to dump some plates by the kitchen when I looked up and saw this burly redneck guy starring at me. He had on a flannel shirt and smelled like cheap bear and sweat. He grinned a sinister grin, and I could feel the hatred in him, directed squarely at me because I was black. I looked away so as not start a fight. Then he went over to the door where two of his buddies were waiting and they began talking overtly loud about there hadn't been a lynching around here for quite along time. One of them laughed and said, "That's 'cause we hung the last few niggers left around here." I could see all three of them starring at me out of the corner of my eye. A few of the other patrons chuckled. I moved back into the kitchen, pretending to get the broom, and then the three men walked out. I woke up thinking how fucked up it must have been to be black in the south back then or even in certain towns now. I really wonder why people have so much hatred for people that are different from themselves. In real life- when I was 12 years old I went with my Mom's boyfriend to a BBQ rib joint on the west side of San Bernardino, California to pickup some dinner. The west side was the older run down part of town, San Bernardino's Barrios. My Mom's boyfriend was handicapped and in a wheelchair so he stayed out in his specially equipped van while I went in to buy the ribs. Everyone in the rib joint was black, and as a 12 year old middle class white kid, I felt a little out of place, but not uncomfortable. The old man behind the counter was nice and chatty, swatting at the flies as he bagged up our dinner of hot ribs and cornbread. Remembering this, the feeling was exactly the opposite of the feeling I had in my dream last night. White kid in a black mans rib joint vs. middle aged blackman in a white owned diner...I know the dream was only a dream, but it left a serious impression on me.

No comments: